To Aru Majutsu No Index 5: Phone Hax.

You’re doing it wrong.

Yeah, I kind of new something was bogus when they talked about the 85-15% ratio. Okay, I’m lying,  but still, it’s nice to know that Index is safe. And BATSHIT INSANE. But more on this later. So, it seems that Toaru is still kind of stuck on exposition, defining who the characters are and how they feel and the fact that the Church is a big evil mystarious organisation which needs to be opposed and defeated in order to save Index etc etc I don’t really care, I want my awesome fight scenes back. I don’t mind fleshing  out characters (in fact, this episode was okay in making me care ever so slightly more for Stiyl and Kaori, who’s apparently a brunette. Didn’t think the night sky could change your hair and eye coulour so drastically.) but it would be better if it didn’t take place all within a single room; more things need to be moving in order to keep a person like me with the attention span of a fly interested.

So, according to Stiyl, Touma is a monster and pretending to be assassins after Index makes them the best friends that she could possibly have! There were some inadvertently funny moments in the episode:

• Apparently, Touma thinks the best way to save a person hours away from dying is to read a book on a subject he knows nothing about.
• The next best way is to use a rotary phone (ha!) to call up institutions who have no idea about the aforementioned dying person, symptons, physiology or circumstances and to tell the institutions “MAGIC DID IT!”.
• Also helpful, not paying attention to the clock while doing this and realising 1 minute before the hour of death that you’ve done f*ck all.
• Then trying to compromise with the people who say they can DEFINITELY save the person (who’s still dying painfully, btw) by saying you might be able to do something probably maybe if they gave you a chance. Though the person would assuredly die within the next few hours long before any medical treatment could be usefully applied.

Touma Kamijo, GAR points DOWN. You must earn them once again by exterme amounts of shouting and Right Hand of Nullification hax next episode.

Ah, yes, almost forgot, Creepy Robotic Index returns. Only with MOAR MAGIC POWERZ. From what little I’ve seen in the form of spoilers, this could either be epic on Touma’s part, or overly melodramatic. I’m not sure how much I care, now that shiny things are back on the screen.

Hmm, didn’t see that coming.

Next Time:

This right hand is the hand that will pierce the heavens Index the illusion.